The College Send-off: What we Know and Hope for our Children as they step onto the next path.

That time of year is upon us, when high school seniors are making their final decisions on the next step in their journey, and for many that means college.  As parents we are filled with mixed emotions, from pride, joy, and happiness, to fear and sadness over reaching the point when our children will be venturing off without us and we hope we have equipped them with the knowledge and ability to thrive and flourish. 

Over the course of the next few weeks I will share many of the life tools necessary to help our students overcome the pitfalls, struggles, and anxiety they may face, and to cherish and hone the opportunities, laughter and fun to come including: understanding signature strengths; how to use the power of vulnerability; fostering a growth mindset; learning to be resilient and gritty; how to use all the resources available to you and network to fully thrive at school; the art of the pivot;  planning, organizing and executing; mindfulness; and strategies for managing, thriving and flourishing. To begin our journey together I will start with the “I knows” and the “I hopes” we all share for our kids. I know this will resonate with many of you and I hope you share it, or the parts that do, with your children.

Dear Kiddo,

As we prepare for your freshman year and the day gets closer and closer to our heading off to college, my emotions have begun to bubble up.  Often, I tell you how proud I am of you and how much I love you and how truly thankful and blessed I am to have you as my child. I carry, feel and have these deep emotions and facts at the tip of my tongue, forefront of my consciousness, and filling my heart all the time, and always bubbling up to share with you, and yet, as we get closer to College Send-off I wonder if I told you them enough, if you really feel and truly know how much I deeply love you.  It truly is like the saying goes, that a part of me and my heart walks around outside of me in you. You are part of my heart and soul and I love you with everything I am. So, as we get closer, there are so many things I want to share with you, even though I know that we have shared so much already, but in my heart, I carry many “hopes” and “knows” for you so I am going to share some of them with you now.

I hope that this next part of journey exceeds your wildest dreams, and surpasses your highest expectations.

I hope that you are kind to yourself, that you walk in pride and power of all you are, all your greatness, and more often than not you release any fear, doubt or anxiety that may try to creep in to disrupt your strength and happiness, because you are more powerful than you even know.

I know that you are an incredible mind and soul and you will attract greatness towards you.

I know that you are an inquisitive, sensitive, and immensely caring and loving person.

I know you have a tremendous amount of love to give and share and the person on the receiving end of that love and warmth is going to be the luckiest person.

I know that you will make your mark in college, achieving in the classroom, and profoundly touching the lives of so many; professors, friends, lovers and acquaintances, because that is innately you.

I know you will find your tribe and there is much laughter and smiles ahead.

I know that you are a deep thinker and analyst, and often it serves you immensely and will take you to great heights and achievements, but I also know that you can sometimes overthink and analyze, and I hope you remember during those times to close your eyes and take a deep breath, release any anxiety that is trying to swirl around you, and know this enormous powerful energy that lies within you and within the beauty and wonder of this world which is working for you, that your life-force is connected to this greater life-force that is supporting you and propelling you to succeed.

I know anything you set your mind to without allowing the fear to deter or derail you, you will accomplish and blow out of the water, because there truly isn’t anything that you can’t achieve when you set your mind and heart on it, because, you truly have enormous talents and great power. 

I hope you know that if you can envision it, you can do it, if you can see it in your mind and heart, you can make it happen and bring it into existence.  So, think and speak into existence what you want to happen – choose your thoughts and words wisely, let those thoughts and words that work for your highest good always wash away thoughts and words that don’t serve you. There is power in your words and actions.

I hope you know that the greatest success lies in your smile, in your happiness, in your heart, in your discovery that life is always moving forward, there is always a tomorrow, things always evolve and change, nothing is static, but make sure you are present in the moment, in the now, and in that moment, you accept all the love, laughter, joy and happiness that encircles and ensues so long as you focus in on it in the moment. 

I hope you don’t worry too much about “the next”; the next discovery, the next class, the next day, the next trip, the next conversation, the next love; all the nexts will come - worrying sometimes motivates and protects, but recognize when the worry isn’t serving you, when it is too much and too long, and focus on the now and the greatness of the moment you are experiencing.  

I hope that you protect yourself, don’t close yourself off, but follow your intuition - if something doesn’t feel right, seem right, know that you owe nobody an explanation and you have the power to remove yourself, protect yourself, and love yourself before anyone else.

I know you know that I haven’t done everything right, and I’m not perfect, but I hope you know that I have done my best and have used everything I have and all that I am in loving you, raising you, supporting you, empowering you and instilling you with knowledge, courage, strength, power, intellect, laughter, health, happiness and love.

I know that you know that I am always here for you, and I hope you never stop talking, sharing and learning with me.  I may not walk every part of your path and journey with you, but I am always sending you love, strength, power, and knowledge, and I hope you know though at times when you may feel alone, you are never alone, many walk the path alongside you, empowering you, protecting you, supporting you, and guiding you in your adventure and success.

I know you know this, but always remember, no matter where or when, I am only a text, phone call, video-chat or plane-ride away to be by your side. I would move heaven and earth to be there whenever you need.

I hope you take advantage of everything available to you during this time of exploration and wonder, without letting FOMO creep in or upset your balance.  I hope you know that things may not happen in your time, but everything happens in the right time, so be patient.

I know there will be moments of loneliness, sadness, fear, disappointment and feelings of failure, but I hope you know that all of that is normal, and an inescapable part of life; they are opportunities of growth and understanding, and I hope you know they are just moments and feelings that will change, they are impermanent, and in those times reach out to me, to your friends, and draw on the strength and love that surrounds you, to lift you because you are never alone and the world wants you to succeed and be happy.

I know you are a great speaker and listener, and you will find the balance of each, you will know when it is time to evoke your voice and when it is important and comforting in just listening – trust your gut.

I hope you remember that it’s not always about the destination, but the journey, and so enjoy the journey, the greatness and glory, but the low times as well, because even those unwanted times and feelings provide you with the opportunity to grow stronger, more compassionate, empathetic, and powerful, and can bring about great change, propel your growth and evolution and shine love and happiness if you embrace it all.

I know you know that it is important to set yourself tangible goals and keep them in sight, to identify your ambitions and cultivate your strengths to reach them, but I hope you also remember to acknowledge the little successes along with the big ones, to cultivate resilience against failure and setbacks, and to give yourself a break when you need one.

I know you know that success doesn’t always come easy, and I hope you remember that staying positive and focused, not giving up when adversity strikes is your secret power; one of the greatest powers of life is what you hold within and what you choose to emanate from your heart and mind, and your heart and mind my kiddo is filled with powerful love, intellect, strength and courage so tap into it often, and I am always here to help.

I know you think at times that I am “too positive” or “too optimistic”, but I hope you know and have seen that I have my own fears, anxiety, disillusionment, and worry, and that is all normal, but we have a choice to either sit in it and let it consume and derail us and give it more power than it deserves, or we can choose to recognize that it is only as powerful as we allow it to be, and we have choices on how to feel, how to think, how to act.  So, my kiddo, use your innate power to not allow bullshit of this world or others to consume you, because you are more powerful, more loving and greater than any of that, and at the end of the day it’s all an illusion and a reality and perspective of our choosing, so choose wisely, choose you, happiness, and love.

I know that I have equipped you with many powerful tools, but most of all I hope that you always feel my love surrounding you, empowering you, and you draw on my strength and the power of the universe.

I know that there is nothing that can stop you but you, so I hope you always treat yourself with love, compassion, kindness and gratitude for all you are and all you do.  I hope you always see and feel your inner strength, courage, power, love and connection to the energy and life-force.

I know there is so much more I want to say, but I also know there is much more to come, so I will leave you at college with a piece of my heart and soul, and my daily prayer, that you feel and see your greatness, that you love and are loved, that you laugh often, that you are divinely protected and directed, that you soar in health, happiness, intellect and love.

Remember Benjamin Franklin’s maxim “well-done is better than well-said” – so go do, my kiddo!!